I lost some time once...

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End of message.

(I'm not dead.)

1. It's sticking in my mind because of the kind of person I am - it's the last day of The Recruiting Officer, um, today. You can tell from that cast that the last night party is going to be fucking epic. I'm sure everyone will get to see plenty of Tobias' hilarious drunk face.

I keep thinking about how, if it had been possible, I would've gone and seen it again and maybe stage doored in a way that I could've got a programme signed or whathaveyou. Then I realise that seeing it again would've always been more about a chance to speak to Messr. Menzies again and that that is not healthy behaviour for a Jen.

So, it's weird. I like. I feel really weird and sad about it? Which is a strange thing to feel about a play you're not even involved in (seriously, this is similar to the feeling I used to get when school productions were ending) but I think it's a weird potential thing more than anything. And a 'Knowing where Tobias is' thing. It's kind of comforting, knowing what he's doing.

Yeah. Way to not sound like a total creeper Jen.

(This is also similar to how I've felt about Sam Samuel West directing a show for Northern Stage and just knowing he was in Newcastle was oddly comforting.)

It's also, to be fair, a case of not knowing what the Next Thing is for Tobias (beyond the fact that he has a role in Hysteria whenever Hysteria eventually gets released) and desperately wanting to know what it might be.

*facepalm*

2. I saw Vincent & Flavia's Midnight Tango at the Theatre Royal on Wednesday and it was awesome (and touring, so people who like dance or just like SCD should try and see it) I understood the story and everything! I'm notoriously bad at parsing dance performances so this is a seriously impressive thing.

They're both so utterly amazing I can't even. I think I want to be Flavia. Though...probably without the dating Jimi Mistry part - you're adorable Jimi, with making her bento lunches and all, but not really my type.

OH my Gods, right, there was this bit where Vincent was fighting with his rival ~through the medium of dance~ and I had a 'It's all gone a bit West Side Story' moment before I clocked that it was proof that men can dance together and look amazing and Strictly really needs to get on the concept of same-sex dance partners if the pros would be down for it because seriously it looked amazing.

Basically from the fight onwards the show just gets more and more amazing culminating in Vincent & Flavia doing what they do best to arguably the most well known piece of tango music OF ALL TIME and I thought I was going to die of joy.

(I also welled up a bit when they did their first dance together? It's just. These guys have always been my favourite Strictly pro couple and this show completely reaffirmed that for me after the Jordans nearly stole the title last series.)

Apparently I have more ~feelings~ about it than I realised. (My Mum, on the phone to my sister afterwards: She hasn't really said anything since it finished. - Because the thing with me, and similar with my Dad too, is that when something really hits me, a surprise or a performance etc, I just go silent running. I might be able to Twitter but I just don't make many words with my mouth-hole for a while afterwards.)

3. HORRIBLE HISTORIES

It is back and it is magnificent and I just want to draw hearts around the whole cast (including the range of new folk we've had so far) for being so totally brilliant at what they do. Needless to say that each day this week my Tumblr folk have been Ben Willspammed up the wazoo.

I think maybe at some point I should throw together a post for the uninitiated amongst you so you can understand all this flailing over a children's sketch show.

4. On Sunday afternoon I caught a pigeon with my bare hands. BECAUSE I AM A PIGEON NINJA.

(A pigeon, trapped in our hall, and I stalked it, oh! how I stalked it, until I caught it and managed to set it free outside. Because I am a badass.)

5. I have booked time off so that I can go and see The Avengers Avengers Assemble* on opening day.

Get. In.

6. 6 has been cancelled due to leaves on the line. A replacement bus service will be leaving from 8.

7. For those of you that know my face I can be seen, briefly, a few times in this episode of Bang Goes The Theory. It's Liz's item about crowd control towards the end of the programme. Fun seeing how about an hour of faffing and experimentation becomes a 5 minute article.

(What you miss, of course, is things like Liz going "I love science!" and making a little fist-pump after the filming was over. And then Liz wandering around the room in search of cupcakes going "Cupcake, cupcake, cupcake" under her breath. She is so amazing, folks, I think my crush on her actually grew.)

Long time listeners know of my enduring love for Bang and Twitter users know that I've been a little sadface about never being able to help out with their crowd sourced experiments because NEWCASTLE - so when a call went out on the Tuesday I was in London for help with something on the Wednesday? I hesitated for a moment before summoning up all my courage and e-mailing off (trivia: I did this whilst standing outside the Donmar because I was so early the theatre wasn't open yet) to them.

(I got confused and went to Television Centre before being directed to the right place by a very helpful receptionist dude. And I didn't freak out too much internally. Which is kinda a big deal.)

Was I a bit sadface that it was just Liz? Slightly? But that's only because I mostly can't separate the three presenters in my head. That being said - I think all hell would've broken out in my head if Jem had been there. (I joked after seeing the crowd pressure item with Jem in this episode that if I'd been involved in that experiment I probably would've ended up under a restraining order. Jostle up against Jem for science? SIGN ME UP. #inappropriatereaction)

So. Yes. Me! On telly! Life ambition: check!

8. I bought Kid Icarus: Uprising for my 3DS (oh, I love that little console so much and I will argue TO THE DEATH its right to exist) and OMGS that is a pretty game. It's a game given over to much replaying of the levels as you try to best them completely and there's moments in each level where I still go 'wow' each time I play them.

Stunning game and blastedly difficult for a gamer like me (that is - not a power gamer and thus a constant flailing to the end of each level).

Speaking of which - I think I shall have a little more frustration before I turn out the light. I have a haircut tomorrow! which is more a trim than anything but still, lovely tidy hair to look forwards to on the morrow.

*UK title. I wasn't mad about it the way, oh, EVERYONE was. This is because I have experienced, in the real world, a lot of people thinking that I meant the British The Avengers with Steed and Peel et al. So I get the reasoning. Plus - it's really not that bad a title.

And, hey, there's a good reason for it. Unlike Philsopher's Stone/Sorcerer's Stone - which is a comparison I saw a lot.

Equals a £15 shortage in one of the floats.

What a tremendous start to a shitty week. There's a lot of ranting and swearing I could do about the shit that's been happening but I've already done that at my sister so instead I will just weep quietly in the corner.

(It basically boils down to: I don't need what feels like a targeted campaign of shortages when I'm undergoing CBT and my mood swings are worse than usual.)

Trying to cheer up with Dirk Gently (because I love Stephen Mangan's face in it) and the thought that Horrible Histories will be back on April 9th!

(So far it is only barely working.)

Comment to this post, and I will list seven things I want you to talk about. They might make sense or they might be totally random. Then post that list, with your commentary, to your journal. Other people can get lists from you, and the meme merrily perpetuates itself.

Via the lovely huskyteer I have the following questions to answer for you

( Under the cut, of course! )

Oh, that was very rambly. Funtimes!

(First: thank you to the people who expressed kind thoughts in my direction. I got to say goodbye to my cat and am mostly okay.)

Okay. It's best to start my recounting of this latest London trip with a review of The Recruiting Officer. I know a couple of you have tickets to see it later on in the run so I'm not going to make it exhaustive but I may not be able to resist a few spoilers in amongst the squeeing.

I preface thusly: I love theatre but I never see as much as I want to. Entirely my own fault for not making an effort to make it to the various North-Eastern theatres I have easy access to. So most of my experiences with theatre are things I'm seeing for very specific reasons: Avenue Q because a) I wanted to see it and b) Daniel Boys, RAGAD for Jamie Parker & Samuel Barnett, Panto for the Barrowpants. The Recruiting Officer for Tobias Menzies.

It generally means that I'm not entirely unbiased when I talk about things. Just a warning.

That being said: ( The Recruiting Officer was fantastic )

This goes out of a cut: for those of you that are attending - try and get into the theatre itself as soon as it opens. They begin building the atmosphere almost the moment the first few people are let in (I was, like, fourth in I think, because I was so excited) with the actor/musicians creating wonderful music and then some other stuff which I shan't spoil outside the cut.

( And back under the cut we go )

In conclusion: it was fantastic and everyone was fantastic and I love everyone in this bar I wish I could see it again.

Outside the cut I can talk about how: I couldn't stop grinning* all the time Tobias was on the stage, whether he was being funny or not; there was a point early on in the second half where I literally flailed because I was so amused; the bit where my internal monologue actually shut down whilst Tobias was on stage.

I recommend it highly to anyone who're lucky enough to be able to get tickets. And to those of you that already do: I'm jealous that you have it ahead of you (and you must come talk to me all about it when you've seen it).

Coming up next: On How Jen Had A Conversation With Tobias Menzies Like A Real Human Being.

*This is a thing my Mum pointed out to me when we were watching Forget Me Not - that I just smile/grin at him the entire time he's on screen. Since she pointed it out I've become incapable of not noticing it and I've discovered that I just can't stop. There were moments during the play where I tried to smooth the grin out of my face because my cheeks were hurting, but I couldn't. Physically incapable.

TODAY I AM GOING TO LONDON

TO SEE TOBIAS IN A PLAY

I AM POSSIBLY TOO EXCITED ABOUT THIS

ALSO SLIGHTLY NERVOUS

WHICH IS WEIRD

BECAUSE NORMALLY I'M NOT NERVOUS ABOUT STUFF LIKE THIS

REGARDLESS

COMING YOUR WAY LONDON

Take Me Home (3140 words) by JenNova
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: Vaguest of vague spoils for 1x02.
Relationships: Zak Gist/Richard Pembroke
Summary: Their present, their past and Zak is really just too tired for this.

As I said on Twitter while I was writing this: it was meant to be for the Porn Battle but a) took too long and b) the porn just didn't want to happen.

I don't know, you guys, I want to write porns for them, I do! I just really love writing around them and getting them talking and thinking and stuff. *hands*

1. Hey, everyone does that thing where they imagine a variety of futures for themselves involving relationships with favourite celebs and winning awards and interviewing themselves in the style of Parkinson even though he's retired, right?

Or is it just me who didn't get to sleep until 3am (after turning the light off at 2am) because I was too busy planning a production of King Lear with Tobias Menzies as Edmund (because you know he'd be kinda perfect and he's only played Edgar before which is fft, whatever, Edmund is amazing *has something of a crush on Edmund*) with someone like John Hurt as the quietest Lear ever?

*cough*

(In all seriousness, though, I'm having weird theatre feels at the moment. A lot of remembering how much I enjoyed directing/writing in college and thinking about play writing and the like. Which are not feels I was expecting to have at age 27 and 8 months precisely.)

All of which brings us nicely to:

2. SO! I am on holiday from 1st March. Harumble! And, I am developing a plan which involves me going to Londontown. Which neatly coincides with The Recruiting Officer at the Donmar Warehouse. Which is sold out because it's the Donmar but I'm going to take a shot at day tickets because: TOBIAS MENZIES AS AN EARLY 18TH CENTURY BOUNDING CAD? YES PLEASE THANK YOU.

In seriousness, well, I mean if there's a chance of seeing an actor I'm more than a little obssessed with I very much want to see on stage, um, on stage? I'm going to take it.

All of which means that usual thing - being the terribly poor person I am and thus being able to afford train tickets and theatre tickets and nowt else I'm wondering if anyone has a bed available for me to crash upon on the nights of the 2nd, 3rd and 4th (cheapest travelling days for me are Friday and Monday, otherwise it'd be a shorter trip). I know I prevail upon you London folk on average at least once a year and I love each of you who've put me up over the years. You're wonderful. And if you ever need me to return the favour I will.

If anyone ever wants to come to the North-East.

No-one ever visits me.

:(

*squints one eye open* Is the guilt trip working yet? :D

Seriously though - if anyone's got room around then I'd be <3_<3. And, of course, I'd like to see as many of you London-centric folk as possible whilst there. Particularly new folk or folk I haven't seen for a while.

3. Speaking of you folk! Lots of love to morganmuffle, twilightthief and Signe for my hearts. I got little warm fuzzies when I got the e-mails. <333333

My sister has been doing this thing (I did tell you guys that I'm living with my sister now, right? I thought I'd have more money. WRONG. But there is less panicking about it, which is nice) where she keeps inviting me out with her and her friends to some local buskers night. She doesn't think I'm being social enough, is the undertone (and this sort of quietly badgering behaviour is a classic of our aunt's), and I'm going to guess it comes back to the usual thing about me appearing to have no friends.

My Folks, thankfully, have come to realise over the years that the Talesians and you guys (particularly those of you that put up with a sleep-starved me in Cardiff all those years ago ♥) are very real friends to me. People that have supported me and loved me and been wonderful to me over the years. I get the feeling my sister still can't quite get that into her head - how real you all are to me whether I've met you in person or not.

The point of this point, I guess, is that you guys make me happy. And I figure today is a good day to say that. (Well, would've been if I'd finished this earlier instead of getting distracted by a repeat of Sirens episode I.C.E.)

4. I am still endlessly filled with Eternal Law FEELS (there will be a lot of Eternal Law a lot because Richard is just made for me, I swear) which were ebbing a little before I got my DVDs today and got excited again.

Despite the fact that I still have the last three eps on my Sky+ box and I have the whole series acquired on my computer. *cough*

I'm thinking that I may try some picspams or such like in an effort to coax those of you that didn't watch into watching. Basically my thinking being that, hey, if enough DVDs sell maybe ITV will order another series and I'll get to see more regular Sam West and Tobias Menzies on my TV.

You tell me, flist, how best I could tempt you into my new (and tiny) fandom. I will try my utmost to tempt you hard.

5. Off to see The Muppets with my Mum on Wednesday. Only, like, 3 months after the US. *grumbles* We're going during the day because the Empire is really bloody cheap during the day and, as it's half-term, I'm fascinated to see how a generation of kids who've probably never seen the Muppets before will react.

6. And finally: three (technically 4, but that one's only in internal development) Eternal Law fics in various stages of writing. One features my first attempt at getting inside Zak's head. One will be ensemble and thus multiple PoVs. One is Richard having a not entirely brilliant day (everyone else has a great day).

I wonder which one will make it to completion first?

(In other words: be very, very quiet but - I think the words are coming back. My relief could be bottled it is so palpable.)

Okay, seeing as you ask:

1. And Richard wanted. He always wanted. That fierce, burning want in him had been what drew Zak to him billions of years ago, was what had made Zak stay at his side even when he started talking treason and why Zak turned away from him when Richard begged him to fall. Because it was terrifying, yes, and because Zak found himself wanting too.

2. “You should come,” Hannah said, surprising herself and, if his expression was anything judge by, Richard. “Yes. Come. I'm sure you'd enjoy it.”

“I don't know,” Richard said, drawing the words out with hesitancy. “Zak and I don't exactly see eye to eye on many things – he probably won't want me there.”

“Look, Richard,” Hannah put her hand over Richard's where it was still tapping on the desk. He went completely still. “You and Zak, you're the main two people I know here. I don't think it's so bad that I want my boyfriend and my boss to get along.”

3. Richard was passing briefs onto one of the secretaries - Maurice? Michael? Something like that – when Hannah rushed into the office, bringing the scent of hastily applied perfume with her. Richard raised an eyebrow at her, recognising yesterday's blouse and skirt, and she blushed a deep red.

“Last night's clothes?” he asked, cocking his head to one side. Hannah flushed deeper.

“I'll go and get changed at lunch,” she said, flustered. She knocked a stack of notes from her desk and swore quietly.

Richard was torn between the urge to mock and the urge go and drown himself in the Bell's in his bottom desk drawer.

(I'd feel sorry for Richard in that last one but, well, fallen angel. He brings it on himself.)

JEN CAN'T COME TO THE JOURNAL RIGHT BECAUSE ETERNAL LAW HAS KILLED HER

KILLED HER WITH ~FEELS

I CAN'T EVEN

I CAN'T SEEM TO MAKE CAPSLOCK GO OFF WHAT IS THIS I CAN'T EVEN

THAT EPISODE CONTAINED ONE OF THE GREATEST SCENES I HAVE SEEN IN MY LIFE AND I JUST

TOBIAS MENZIES WHAT ARE YOU HOW ARE YOU REAL

AND SAM WEST DON'T THINK I'VE FORGOTTEN ABOUT YOU

AND YOU UKWELI ROACH CAN STAY FOREVER

AND ORLA BRADY I WANT YOU TO BE MINE

AND HATTIE OH HATTIE EVERYTHING IS SO CONFUSING FOR YOU AND I LOVE YOUR FACE

BASICALLY IT BOILS DOWN TO THIS:

RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD

HEY YOU GUYS WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE A BOURNE LEGACY TRAILER?