jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
What up, the Internet. I have been a truly woeful journaler for the last year, I am painfully aware, but I'm determined to start fixing this now.

No guarantees, however.

SO. Right. Have some things.

1. THERAPY. Basically, okay, I've not been in the best place for around a year or so and around March last year I finally got my Doctor into a place where she wondered aloud if I was suffering from depression. She makes me get regular appointments (I have one on Wednesday actually) and refers me to NHS psychology and we wait.

And wait.

And wait some more.

When I see her in November it's with the knowledge that I'm hovering around 5th on the waiting list. She has the knowledge that there's a way she can sort of skip the list and get me emergency therapy of a sort. The week after Christmas I finally get a phone call from someone and a meeting is set up for January. Long and short of it is - I am currently completing an online CBT course called Beating The Blues, having weekly phone appointments to talk about my progress and slowly getting into a process of health.

My CBT lady has junked the psych referral in favour of getting me straight into full-blown CBT when I've finished my time with her. Which is basically a weight off my mind.

I am up and down (my graph so far proves that) and this is making me think about myself in a way that I don't normally for fear of getting trapped in a bad loop. I'm learning tools, however, that'll hopefully help me in future. Week three has been a good week (and I know why thanks to my Activity Schedule!) and I'm hoping week four is one too.

2. Here is why this has been a good week - as you know, I posted fic last week! And people read it and said nice things to me and I'm all full up of joy from it. Putting aside Yuletide A Sense Of Touch is the first story I've written because I want to read it since August last year. I've had a lot of ideas (A LOT) in the intervening period but I've had such an awful time doing something with those ideas.

One of my three goals in this therapy is figuring out why I've been having such difficulties with writing (considering how prolific '09 was, for example) and hoping it's not as The Boy related as I suspect and figuring out how to fix that.

It shouldn't be at all surprising that Eternal Law boosted me back into writing. It's basically epic fandom bait with all the angst and ambiguous sexuality and endless touching and angels and vague Good Omens-y vibes and Richard 'epic troll' Pembroke. It's from Matthew Graham and Ashley Pharoah, who together brought my first fandom into life (Life On Mars, for those playing along at home), and it's a Kudos production on the scale of early angst-free Hustle. It's funny and the cases always feel pasted on but I genuinely do not care when I have such a group of hotass and talented actors to watch being hotass and talented at.

Which brings us to:

3. Tobias Menzies. My second favourite 'Toby' after Toby Stephens (naturally). Tobias Menzies and his wonderful sneering, sharp performance of Richard (technically the bad guy but in my heart of hearts he'll always be Chaotic Neutral at worst) lighting up my TV screen and my life.

My thing with Mr Menzies starts with Rome. Flawed though it was Rome had multiple terrific performances by some of Britain's finest actors. Tobias as Brutus is one of the very best. I've always had something of thing of RL!Brutus and most actors who play him receive my ever-lasting love in exchange (that means you, David Franklin ♥) but I think that Tobias may have killed me dead the worst. Rome's Brutus is conflicted and torn man - trapped between what he believes is right for the Republic, his love for Caesar ("Like a father you were to me!"), his mother's will, his family name (one of his ancestors was also a tryannicide, hence the importance of he being amongst the assassins) and his own feelings - and Tobias plays out every one of these nuances to perfection.

My Gods. There's a moment after they murder Caesar in the Senate where he drops to the floor and fairly howls with grief (just after this beautifully realised scene where Antony finally makes his way inside to see what they have done, he looks and Brutus and they share this moment and Antony nods very slightly and leaves and without Purefoy or Tobias saying a word you know everything they are thinking) which quite rips my heart in two.

I'm watching the series again at the moment, finally getting around to the BluRay boxset I got 3 Hogswatches ago, and have just watched that episode. I wonder if my neighbours are tired of hearing me whimpering Brutus (and sometimes Antony or Vorenus, my favourites, and a lot of Pullo during the last couple of episodes) yet? I still have plenty of angst and sadface to get through - and I know there will be tears towards the end.

And, funnily enough, if my CBT Lady asks me why I think this week has been better Rome is one of the reasons I will describe - because despite the way I keep making grabby hands at the screen and the way my heart is broken at least once an episode, it's truly filled me up with pleasure.

3. TV What I Am Watching

In case anyone cares what I'm watching that's actually currently airing: White Collar (JUST MAKE THE OT3 CANON ALREADY, JEEZ), House (MORE PARK, LESS ADAMS, ALL THE CHASE, ALL THE WILSON), Glee (OH GODS WHY), REVEEEEEEEENGE (NOLAN BE MINE), Once Upon A Time (GINNIFER GOODWIN YOU ARE MY FAVOURITE), Lost Girl (HNNG), The Good Wife (BASICALLY THE BEST SHOW ON US TV), How I Met Your Mother (JUST LET US MEET THE MOTHER IT WON'T DESTROY THE SHOW), 2 Broke Girls (MORE GIRLS LESS RACISM), New Girl (BEST NEW US SITCOM), Castle (WORST WILL-THEY-WON'T-THEY EVER), 20 Rock (KEEP BEING REFRESHING), Fringe (OLIVIAAAAAAAA), Supernatural (OH, BOYS), Star Wars: The Clone Wars (JUST ALL OF IT, EVEN THE DROID EPISODES).

I'm eagerly awaiting Smash (MMM, JACK DAVENPORT) and Awake (MMM JASON ISAACS) starting. The return of Psych and Fairly Legal in March.

And on this side of the pond: Skins (NOOOOOOOOOO), Eternal Law (BE MINE FOREVER RICHARD), Whitechapel (HNNG, RPJ), Stella (I LOVE EVERYONE IN THIS SHOW) and very soon the return of Being Human (LFDGSGA;ERBSKJDFA).

Sometimes, when I look at it like that, I sort of hate how much US TV I watch? But then I remember it's because UK TV spreads itself (and its quality) throughout the year. I mean - there's more The Hour and Luther and Dirk Gently and Spy to look forwards to, and Gods know what else will show up that I don't know about and then flail at people for not telling me about. The Shakespeare Season, for example, which I cannot even deal with, tbh, it's so full of amazing people.

4. A Thing What I Am Excited About

Is it Avengers time yet? I am currently planning on booking April 27th (release date in the UK) off from work so that I can go to the first available session. Then again late on in the day with whoever from my family wants to feast on the awesome.

I am so muddled up with FEELS about this movie all of the sudden. Along with the suddenly suggested worry by a friend of mine of WHAT IF TONY AND STEVE DON'T ACTUALLY HAVE THE CHEMISTRY? (I swear, the movies are the only place I will ever be able to ship Tony/Steve properly - I am still not over Civil War, Marvel) I'm suddenly randomly nervous that it'll be terrible. Which is ridiculous because Joss Whedon is totally safe pair of hands for this franchise - he knows his onions Marvel-wise and he already has experience of ensemble film making - but I can't help myself.

Marvel keeps releasing tidbits about its future slate (Iron Man 3, WITH SHANE BLACK, 2013 and I believe Cap 2 is assumed for 2014 along with Thor 2 if they ever sort a director out - but also the possibility of a solo Nick Fury film and a Doctor Strange film (which could be totally awesome with the right director/script combo) and there's still Edgar Wright and Joe Cornish's Ant-Man floating about somewhere and that's just the Marvel Studios* stuff) and I'm all aflail with excitement. But Avengers is a massive gamble and if it doesn't work we mightn't get all those other awesome things.

Which would suck massively. MASSIVELY.

I don't even know any more, folks. This is ridiculous.

*I mean, that's without the news that Matthew Vaughan is confirmed for First Class 2 which means it's definitely happening which means more mutants soon! Or the fact that I keep forgetting Amazing Spider-Man is a thing what is happening. Or that The Wolverine is still out there, somewhere, waiting for a director. Or that Rob Liefeld (urgh, LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEFELD *shakes fist*) has suggested that there exists test footage for the long mooted Deadpool movie.

5. Speaking of Marvel - I'm finally back on track with comic books, having disposable income at last, and the amounts of evens I cannot will never be able to be textually rendered.

I'm not going to bore you with a billion words on how Laura Kinney is basically my favourite ever and I'm so afraid of Marjorie Liu not writing her any more, or how much I love that Wolverine has started a school, or the fact that Keiron Gillen (formerly of PC Gamer) is kicking ass on Uncanny X-Men AND made Pixie Welsh, or how Hickman is a massive bastard for the year of hell he put me through re: Johnny Storm, or what I am even supposed to do with the current Madrox arc in David's X-Factor, or WTF 'DEAD' means as a name for a Deadpool book. Just know that the feels the I have about ALL OF THAT are epic and ridiculous.

6. That should be it for now, tbh, as it's almost 3 am and I'm going to watch the first ep of Rome S2 before sleeptimes.

Hopefully I shall be back within the week to talk about more ~things and maybe even with some level of coherency!
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
I SOLEMNLY SWEAR THAT I AM GOING TO RETURN TO JOURNALLING PROPERLY SOON.

FOR NOW: HAVE SOME SELF-PROMOTION.

A Sense Of Touch (1579 words) by faviconJenNova
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: Eternal Law
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Richard Pembroke/Zak Gist
Characters: Zak Gist, Richard Pembroke
Summary:

Goad Zak into touch without even speaking? That's a challenge worthy of Richard's talents at last.



Eternal Law is amongst my favourite things about 2012 so far. I can't even you guys.

And, because I never got around to posting it after reveals, my Yuletide fic for New Girl.

The Sun's In My Heart (3849 words) by faviconTaurenova
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: New Girl
Rating: General Audiences
Warning: Author Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Characters: Jess (New Girl), Nick (New Girl), Schmidt (New Girl), Winston (New Girl), Cece (New Girl)
Summary:

Jess loses someone and in the end, when it counts, the guys are there for her.

jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
Seeing as I'm getting into a process (that is - I'm starting serious work on my LoM BigBang this evening instead of just doodling Lightwing/BSH (shh, that's almost a spoiler) all over scrap paper at work) I figure it's also time to get back into a fandom brain.

So:

Give me a character and I shall tell you:

* How I FEEEEEL about this character
* All the people I ship romantically with this character
* My non-romantic OTP for this character
* My unpopular opinion about this character
* One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Y'all are well aware of my big fandoms, of course, but you're more than welcome to ask about other things you know I watch/read/like. And multiple times too. I want to think about things!
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
Just a wee heads up here:

If I, uh, am around even less than usual (and that is, for DW, not very often all, so oops) it is entirely because Pokemon White has eaten my life.

This should only last a few weeks before I get frustrated with grinding Pokemon levels OR I get stuck.

The more you know~ and all that.
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
1. How happy am I to see the back of 2011? So fucking happy I can't even tell you. So tired of that year and the absolute shite I put myself through throughout.

Here's to 2011 bringing my writing back (the ideas are fine, flooding and flowing, I just can't fucking write) and, well, yeah. That's all I really want for the New Year. My writing back.

Hope those of you who did New Year's last night had fun and here's to your 2011 being full of those things that you love.

2. Yuletide Reveals are up. My awesome, awesome, awesome Nextwave fic, pirate superheroes (explode things and steal stuff) was written by .

I will love you forever. Fact.

And I wrote, drumroll please:

All In A Day's Work - which is RED, William Cooper-centric and features an unexpectedly long cameo from Messr. James Bond (VI, of course) entirely because I'm convinced Victoria taught him how to shoot, amongst other things. Also, of course, there is Victoria. Because she is awesome.

If you stop by and read it - I think you'll find that it is painfully me. Right down to the unexpected invasion of James Bond.
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
1. I CAN HAZ NEXTWAVE FIC. FINALLY.

You guys, I have no words for how excited I am about this fact. I've been requesting NEXTWAVE every year. Every year I've gotten other, awesome, stories. But not NEXTWAVE.

And this year it's finally happened. Gloriously so.

It's hilarious and perfect and wondrous. And you can all totally read it without knowing the folk involved because it's genius.

pirate superheroes (explode things and steal stuff) - a NEXTWAVE fic of brilliance.

(Seriously. With that title how can you not?)

2. ROCK BAND 3. BLURAY PLAYER. GOLDENEYE 007. MANY BOOKS OF GREATNESS. MUCH DISNEY DVD-AGE. JOHN BARROWMAN AT THE ROYAL ALBERT HALL. MIRANDA SERIES 1. RHOD GILBERT AND THE CAT THAT LOOKED LIKE NICHOLAS LYNDHURST.

Pretty awesome. And a fair amount of stuff that I genuinely wasn't expecting. (Particularly Rock! Band! 3!)

HOGSWATCH!

Dec. 24th, 2010 03:43 pm
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
NO MORE SHIFTS! NO MORE SHIFTS! NO MORE SHIFTS!

Now to wrap presents. Have a quick shower. Quick vacuum of the floor so I don't get judged if Mum comes 'round after Christmas.

Then it's all my stuff in a bag (including my lovely laptop for Yuuuuuuuuuuuuuletide Madness! amongst others) and up the road to my Folks'.

I am excite.

Happy Hogswatch Eve my lovelies, hope it's a good one for you wherever you are.
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
What's that? Posting twice do closely together? Why, Jen, people will think they you've been replaced by a robot or something.

(Hands down the best Walterism in this week's Fringe. On the other hand: OH OLIVIA! *hugs forever and ever*)

Today was not a great day. Starting with a very late-running hospital appointment and blood withdrawal issues. Also an injection to help my fucked up hip (that really hates the cold this year) which fucks you up worse for a couple of days.

And then having to work on that hip. Worst fucking Friday in ages.

(My AM sent me home because I was practically in tears on the floor. I should point up that I was holding up fairly okay on the so-painful-I'm-crying side of things until she started being nice to me and offering me things.

AM: Are you okay? You're not okay. Do you want to go home? Go home, Jen, just go home.

She also told me that if I still feel like shit on Sunday to not worry and just ring in and say I can't come to work. It is the Christmas Party day, which is generally a sort of organised chaos which everyone has to work, so that's kind of a big deal.

I should be okay by then, though. My Mum's had these injections before and says it takes a day or so to stop hurting and then there's blessed relief on the other side.)

I knew it was going to hurt. I didn't know how horribly badly it was going to hurt. This is awful.

So I rang my Dad and asked if he could take me home, but I was partially crying when I did it so he got all Dadlike. I'm at my Folks', now, after he persuaded me to just get my stuff (including Moya, natch) and come back with him.

Of course - I remembered later that I'm waiting on a parcel that I suspect may be delivered tomorrow and now I won't be there to collect it if it is.

(I've become a little obssessed with the parcel - in a sort of 'when I get the parcel everything will be okay'. Amongst other things it has the cards that I'm going to send to y'all in it. So. I'll be gutted if I miss it.)

Speaking of Christmas Hogswatch cards - this is a last call for anyone as wants a card from me. I'm leaving comments on so send me a PM (at LJ or DW, I don't mind) if you'd like a card and I haven't already stated that I'm sending you one.

(I'm pretty sure I have the addresses that I needed. For those of you as moved.)
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
(Look at me, ma, I'm cross posting, like I promised on the LJ!)

Just a quick meme that I liked the look of:

If you were asked to pick one scene, one shot, one detail, one moment of some kind out of all the things I've made and say "This, this, for whatever reason, I remember, this is something that struck home with me, that I wanted to keep," what would it be?

'Cos I'm always interested in what y'all think of my writing.

(And because I'm trying to find away out of the blockage I've been in for months and hoping the reminders of things I've done well will lead to me remembering that I'm good at writing and stuff.)
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
Because I actually tend to do character memes straight away, the one that everyone's throwing around at the moment -

Name a character from one of my fandoms and I'll give you:

(a) three facts about them from my personal canon/fanon
(b) a reason he/she sucks
(c) a reason he/she is awesome
(d) five things that never happened to that character and/or
(e) five people that character never fell in love with and why


Fandoms Applicable: Fakenews/Punditry/etc, Life on Mars, Torchwoods, New Who, Psych, Supernatural. Any of the others I've rambled about at and/or with you.

And then [personal profile] themistoklis went and tagged me. :(

(Kidding, dearest.)

+First: If you've been tagged, you must write your answers in your own LJ and replace any question that you dislike with a new, original question.

+ Second: Tag eight people. Don't refuse to do that. Don't tag whoever tagged you. Not my style, peeps.

That Question Meme )

A First...

May. 15th, 2009 01:27 am
jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
...my first fic written for a Dreamwidth specific Fest.

I Scream, You Scream, We All Scream For, Well, You Know The Rest for [personal profile] oxoniensis' Take A Sad Song And Make It Better Fest. PG-rated, Bryce/Michael (Chuck/Burn Notice - pre-series for both) boy-kissing + ice cream.

And dedicated to [personal profile] everysecondtuesday because she's had a couple of bad nights recently.

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jennova: Jason Lee as Brodie, smiling. (Default)
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